on resolutions, change, loss

This year I’ve considered a photographic resolution more than ever in the past. In years past, part of my resolution always involved “shooting more”, but then I mean “shoot more things I find personally inspired to shoot”. This year my inspiration guage is cruising on E. I must resolve not just to shoot more of what inspires me, but also to be inspired. Blogging photos here and there has had them effect of making me see photos in more places, farther in advance and with a less critical, more open, eye. Good thing.

Like this time last year, I’m beginning a new job…one I have mixed feelings about. I’m sure I will enjoy the work once I get acclimated to my new schedule, commute…new people, expectations…etc. Still, like last year, I feel like there has been a loss… a missed opportunity…though my photography business is officially on the books and progress was made last year (I shot 12 weddings as a 2nd shooter), it feels like taking a full-time job is an exclamation of defeat…that I did not do what I set out to do with last year. Loss—of time, energy, focus and most of all momentum.

I’m looking forward to this upcoming wedding season. I have renewed enthusiasm for it…this year I’m going to invest in new gear that I’m sure will change my photography for the better. I hope to go into this year’s work with a simplified gearbag, less peripheral junk, just bodies and lenses and flashes and memory.

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